2024 was a bit unique for me. I had multiple cases in which respondents (cis-men) asked complainants (cis-women as well as trans-women) to:
- Show their upper body or lower body while traveling in a private car.
- Show their upper body or lower body during a video call.
- Engage in sexting.
- Engage in acts of self pleasure.
- Sharing nudes or getting on video calls to share nudes.
These complaints sometimes came with statements like:
- Can you lift your top for me?
- Come on, just one photo, no one will know.
- It’s just for me, I won’t save it.
- Can you leave your camera on while you change?
- Can you stand up and show me what you’re wearing?
- Turn your camera, I want to see you properly.
- Can you show me a little more?
While I believe there cannot be one psychological or socio-cultural reason for doing this, these complaints got me thinking – where is this coming from? Some of the below gave me some perspective:
1. Instant Gratification: In this age of reels and shorts, we constantly see everyone losing patience and that could be for daily chores, work or anything else. We have 10 mins delivery apps, solutions at the finger-tip with AI and instant gratification seems to have become the norm. About 25% have shared a nude photo according to a 2019 article by the American Academy of Pediatrics. This seems to have increased overtime. Statista found that 44.9% of surveyed adults sent a sext in 2019, and that this number leapt to 57.1% in 2020. The number of people who admitted to sexting only increased as the years passed, from 63% in 2021 to 68.3% in 2022. The number leapt again in 2023 when 76.9% of those surveyed said they had sexted.
In the case of sexual requests also, many expect that both partners will be instantly ready for sex, skipping foreplay and emotional connection. Often this leads to a mismatch in communication between the partners – While one feels that both will be instantly ready, the other feels shocked / surprised / offended at the sudden request. Sometimes the pressure leads to sharing of pictures etc. but later they realise they did not like it (example – More than 20% teens surveyed by the National Library of Medicine (USA) discovered just how dangerous phones can be when their sexting experiences turned sour. In fact, 25% reported feeling upset about the sexually explicit images in their inboxes.) and complaints still get filed.
2. Status symbol: In many peer groups of men, getting a nude photo is seen as a “trophy” or status symbol. Research shows that boys often share nudes in group chats to gain approval from friends. A 2023 study found that 30% of teenage boys admitted to sharing nudes they received without permission—indicating that for some, it’s about social power, not intimacy.
3. Genuine belief that this is intimacy: Some people genuinely believe sexting is a form of intimacy, especially if influenced by media where digital relationships involve nude exchanges. Research indicates that a significant number of individuals perceive sexting as an intimate and consensual aspect of their relationships. A study by Stasko and Geller found that 88% of adults surveyed had engaged in sexting, with 96% endorsing it as a positive behavior.
4. Assumption: Studies indicate that boys assume most girls are comfortable sending nudes, even when that’s not true. A study by the Brookings Institution (2020) found that many teen boys believe asking for nudes is part of modern dating, even though most girls report feeling uncomfortable about it. This perception gap leads to more pressure on girls to comply.
5. Exposure to hypersexualized content: Content of any kind is very easily available today and this can lead one to believe that asking for explicit photos is a natural part of flirting or relationships. Easy availability of live porn today adds to it. This can lead to misplaced understanding about sex. For example, porn often portrays sex as endlessly energetic, leading viewers to believe that real sex should always be long-lasting and intense. Similarly, watching live (on Camera) porn, rough sex, multiple partners, or risky behavior can make these seem like common or expected parts of sex.
6. Enablement through App features: Apps with disappearing messages (Snapchat, WhatsApp, Telegram) make people feel safer about sending nudes. But screenshots, leaks, and revenge porn remain major risks. The 2014 iCloud celebrity nude leak (Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton) increased discussions around nudes, but instead of deterring people, studies show it led to a rise in sexting among teens.
These requests are often framed as harmless, flirty, or even complimentary, but they’re designed to test, manipulate, and coerce women into uncomfortable situations. Many perpetrators start small and escalate over time.
Many don’t fully understand the emotional and legal impact of asking for nudes because of media influences and peer pressure. Some see it as sexy, but for others, it’s about control, power, or social validation. Education, open conversations, and legal accountability can help shift the narrative toward respect and digital responsibility.
Countries like Australia have introduced laws against “image-based abuse”, making it easier for survivors to take legal action against those who pressure, share, or distribute nudes. These efforts are primarily governed by the Online Safety Act 2021, which empowers the eSafety Commissioner to take decisive actions against perpetrators.
In India, as an IC, of course, one looks into such complaints. However, teaching consent at all stages is extremely important. It’s important to learn to:
🚨 Call out the behavior – Set a firm boundary.
🚨 Don’t engage or entertain – Block/report if necessary.
🚨 Avoid sharing personal/private content – Even if trust seems established.
– Shivangi Prasad – Founder & Director The Legal Swan (POSH at Work & Respekt)